Reframing: How to Change Bad Habits (Nursing)

00:00 Now, let’s talk about the two habits that keep us stuck, yeah.

00:06 I’m going to get in your bidness as we say.

00:09 We’re about to get really personal because both of these habits are based in one emotion and that's fear.

00:15 So the two habits that keep, when I say us, I mean you and me because I’m brilliant at both of these.

00:24 They’re both based in fear. The first one is procrastination.

00:28 The second one is making excuses.

00:31 All right, so just go ahead and number those in the order that you do them most often.

00:35 Do you procrastinate more or do you make excuses more? Which one is the bigger problem in your world? Because most of us are pretty good at both of them.

00:43 Here is why they keep us stuck.

00:46 They're powerful because we believe we can’t change.

00:50 You say things like I’ll never be able to do this.

00:53 Oh great! I’ll be the one who fails in class, or I’ll be the one who fails this test or this class.

01:00 I can’t do this or you find you’re saying, "It’s too hard. That faculty is too mean.

01:06 This care plan is to ridiculous, too difficult. I’m too late." Yeah, those are all just emotionally charged words, okay? They convince us that we can’t change and they’re based in lies.

01:18 They’re based in out of control emotion, not in what is reality.

01:23 Remember, you got into nursing school. You’re sharp.

01:28 We’re going to help you succeed and thrive there because these negative habits become like zombies.

01:36 You see those zombies there? Negative keystone habits mean I stop thinking about them.

01:40 I just do it. They’re habits. They don’t require my brain.

01:44 That’s why there’s a zombie there.

01:46 Negative keystone habits are like zombies.

01:49 They influence multiple areas of your life.

01:51 Now, this is one of my favorite quotes and I have to remind myself.

01:55 Rita Emmett said, “The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” Oh my, that is me. I can make a tiny, little task this big, hairy deal and I avoid doing it.

02:11 Then by the time I eventually just sit down and do it, it really wasn’t that big a deal, but I made it into this much bigger deal than it needed to be.

02:20 So if you have some of these habits, I want you to look for evidence that you might be living in zombie mode versus living in making conscious choices mode.

02:29 You have to have a plan.

02:31 You can’t just get up and firefight everyday.

02:33 You have to be thinking ahead and making conscious choices.

02:37 Not letting life decide how you're going to invest your time and energy, but you need to take control. So don’t walk around like a zombie.

02:45 Walk around like somebody who is alive and making conscious choices on where you’re going to invest your time and energy.

02:52 Because if you want to change a habit, let’s go.

02:55 Let me tell you how to do it. This is how you kill the zombies.

03:00 You have to change your brain and your beliefs.

03:03 I’m going to teach you three new mantras.

03:05 Now, you don’t have to get in any weird yoga position.

03:07 I just want to teach three things that I want you to be saying to yourself.

03:11 You can say them silently in your mind.

03:14 But listen, you’re unaware of some of the messages you’re saying to yourself anyway.

03:19 I’m just asking you to wake up and pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself.

03:23 I’m going to show you how you can actually reframe your thought life in three areas.

03:29 So you’ve got these processes going on.

03:31 Now, these next words are going to help you reframe those thought processes.

03:35 I want you to remember to say, “I can do it. I can handle it. And I can push through it.” Okay, that seems kind of cheesy, right? Like, “Oh really?” That’s all I have to say. Like tinkle my nose and this is all going to work.

03:48 Now listen, there is actually research behind it.

03:51 I have these three statements in places that I can see them most often.

03:55 Because when I find myself making those fear excuses, or procrastinating, or rationalizing, like wait a minute, this isn’t too big.

04:03 I really can do this. I just got to take the next step.

04:06 Yes, I can handle it and I can push through it.

04:10 See, if I say I can do it, then I’m going to push away the thoughts that say, “Oh, I’m probably the one who doesn’t get this.

04:17 I’m probably going to be the one who doesn’t make it.” No, no, I can do this. I just have to take the next step.

04:22 Oh, if that happens, I can’t handle it.

04:25 Yes, I can. If that happens, it’s not the end of the world.

04:29 Some of the most difficult conversations I have had with students is when their school program doesn’t go the way they thought.

04:36 They thought they were going to start in first semester and move right on through second, third, and fourth semester.

04:42 Sometimes it doesn’t go that way on your journey to be a nurse.

04:45 Sometimes there’s a bit of a side trip.

04:47 Sometimes you have to come at it from a different angle.

04:50 They are so terrified, “If this happens, I can’t deal with it.” Yeah, you can.

04:54 So sometimes it’s like that nightmare that’s chasing you.

04:57 You’re running for everything you’re worth but you’re not even sure what’s behind you.

05:01 What I’m saying, stop saying you can’t handle it.

05:04 Stop, face it, and say, "What if that happens?" Hey listen, if I don’t pass this test, I can handle it.

05:10 I can try and make it up on the next test.

05:12 I can just do my best. What if I don’t pass this class? Then I’ll see what the next step is.

05:17 I’m going to be a nurse. I can handle this.

05:20 No matter what comes my way, I can handle it.

05:23 The third piece, I can push through it.

05:26 That means if you fail, you’re going to get right back up.

05:29 So if I fail or what I think is a failure, I missed the mark that I’ve set for myself, it’s okay.

05:35 I can push through it because that’s what resilience is, getting back up after what you think is a failure and keeping going.

05:42 So we’ve got research-based reasons.

05:45 These aren’t just simple bumper sticker kind of things.

05:47 I just boiled them down to short statements that you can put somewhere around the house.

05:51 When you start paying attention to what you’re saying in your brain, Instead of saying, “Oh, I don’t think I…” Ah-ah, I can do this.

05:58 Boy, if that happens… No, if that happens, I’ll handle it.

06:03 If I fail, I can push through it and I can make it.

06:07 Those are three things that if you start changing the messages and the thought processes in your brain, you’ll be amazed at what you can do.