Microinvalidations

00:06 Microinvalidations is another type of microaggression.

00:11 And I also at this point want to make a point, even though we're using micro as the prefix, oftentimes these are not micro, they're very obvious they're macro.

00:21 So be careful when you label it as whatever it is.

00:26 The main point is to believe people when they say that this is how it made them feel.

00:33 So how can we as the perpetrator of that, be a part of the solution and not continue to perpetuate the problem whether you admit it or not acknowledge that these are these people's feelings, they own the feeling, and it's not up to us to try to make them feel a certain way.

00:51 You just talk about what your intent was and then moving forward try not to continue to do that.

00:58 And then people will trust and believe you if they see a change in behaviors.

01:02 So with the microinvalidations, again, covert conscious or unconscious, intentional or unintentional, and these are discriminatory or hate acts, keeping in mind that they can happen from us to anybody else regardless of whether they are part of our affinity groups or not.

01:20 They exclude and negate or nullify people's psychological thoughts, feelings or experiences.

01:26 Whatever the reality is of that person, a microinvalidation is invalidating that.

01:32 And again, we can't tell another person how they feel, what they experienced, or how to think.

01:38 So thinking about that, if someone tells you, they were offended by XYZ, embrace that, and listen, have a conversation about it.

01:48 Don't tell people that they shouldn't feel a certain way.

01:51 You can't tell people how to feel, again.

01:53 And I absolutely despise when people tell me that something I experienced wasn't what I experienced.

02:00 So again, I'm going to bring this back to healthcare and organizational behaviors.

02:05 So if you feel like you've been bullied or abused in any of those circumstances, and you say that, and let's say I'm the supervisor, and I say, "Well, no, that's not what happened." Well, that is nullifying, invalidating what your experience is.

02:20 And as the leader, I should do further investigation, and try to moderate or facilitate a conversation between the person who reported it and the offender and try to facilitate resolution.

02:34 Other than that, like I said, either if it did really happen, and maybe it was just your perception or maybe it really wasn't intended that way.

02:42 Either way, it's our responsibility to make sure we address it.

02:46 It can be direct and insidious denial of someone's racial, ethnic, gender, or religious or LGBTQ identity.

02:54 So pretending like it's not there, when people say things like, "I don't see race, I don't see color." And people try to deny, if someone says, "I'm gay." And we try to avoid that situation, then guess what it does make it like it's not normal.

03:09 It makes it like we don't accept it.

03:11 So I want to embrace every part of who an individual is, and I don't want to avoid those conversations.

03:18 If that's a part of a person's identity, we need to embrace that, again, whether you like it or not, whether you agree with it or not.

03:26 With microaggressions, oftentimes people perceive certain ethnic groups as foreigners.

03:33 And I do know that nationally, that's still used as an identifier sometimes when we talk about foreign countries, foreign nationals.

03:44 The newer term, the more acceptable thing is to talk about in terms of international because labeling that's another label as a foreigner and outsider, and we don't want to make people feel like they don't belong.

03:57 When we talk about diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging.

04:01 When we label people and make them feel less than or outside of the norm, then that's offensive and it also again, impacts people's psyche.

04:11 I just mentioned about promoting colorblindness, you need to see color.

04:16 If you don't see color, then you don't see me, you don't see people as who they are, like I said.

04:22 When you personally deny being racist, sexist or homophobic, with sentences or statements such as, "I'm not a racist, I have a lot of black friends. I have black neighbors." I have a friend who said, someone said to her on the plane, "Well, I'm not racist, because every time I see black people, I waved to them." So those kinds of comments are what I'm talking about having to prove that you're not a certain thing by making these comments that are kind of offensive just basically because the examples that are given are pretty petty kind of examples.

04:59 If you tell me you're not racist, and you want to explain why you're not, it's okay, but it doesn't need to be trivial reasons why you're not racist because you have black neighbors and you bring them a cake when they move in.

05:11 That's trivial and it feels like trying to alleviate some guilt or something or prove to yourself that you're not a certain thing.

05:20 But if you're not, it usually shows you don't have to.

05:22 And if somebody calls you that, and you're defending yourself, no matter what it is, or whatever type of phobia it is, that's a different story, you do have the right to say, "I'm not this." And maybe make a case for yourself.

05:37 You don't have to though if you know that you're not, you don't really need to talk about it.

05:41 It's people will make assumptions anyway.

05:43 And we can't control the things people think about us.

05:46 But we can have conversations, intelligent conversations again, and get some clarity on where that comes from.

05:54 And remembering again, it's contextual.

05:57 Another invalidation is asserting the myth of meritocracy.

06:01 And I kind of gave that example when I talked about affirmative action as one of those myths, and how people get things based on merit, and certain people deserve it more than others.

06:15 So that myth talks about how men and women or black and white, whatever it is, all people have equal opportunities to be promoted regardless of race, ethnicity, gender.

06:26 That is definitely not the case when we acknowledge that structural racism and other types of discrimination really do exist.

06:35 So we can't fix a problem if we don't diagnose the problem.

06:39 So that's my point in talking about that we do have to be willing and able to acknowledge the things that create these microaggressions before we can do anything to correct those issues.

06:52 So again, like I said, with this meritocracy thing, if a place is not committed to equality and equity, then there will never be a balance in terms of everybody having the same opportunities to progress in an organization.