Feedback with Heated Emotions (Nursing)

00:00 Sometimes, feedback gets heated. Sometimes, feedback gets emotional.

00:09 And while we encourage feedback to be given in a timely manner, sometimes feedback is delayed and emotions build up to an explosion of frustration and anger and sometimes feedback begins as a calm conversation and then quickly builds into a heated emotional intense conversation.

00:32 And this brings me to another important element of performance feedback.

00:38 We must consider the emotions when giving performance feedback and we must be prepared to have conversations with heated tensions.

00:50 There are entire courses on de-escalation tactics available for an in-depth look at this topic and this certainly is not an all inclusive set of tools.

01:03 But I want to provide a few practical steps that you can use to de-escalate heated conversations.

01:13 First, de-escalate yourself.

01:17 Whether you are giving or receiving feedback, if a situation escalates, it is natural for you to mirror the emotions of the others in the room.

01:30 Take a moment. Take a breath.

01:35 Control your emotions and de-escalate yourself before you try to de-escalate anyone else.

01:44 Relax your body. Unlock your jaw. Unclench your fist.

01:50 Adjust your physical position to appear non-threatening.

01:56 De-escalate yourself first. Then listen, genuinely and sincerely listen.

02:06 Don't listen for a response, listen for understanding.

02:11 Oftentimes people become heated simply because they want to be heard.

02:17 Allow their voices to be heard. Listen.

02:21 Use empathy statements in these situations to clarify your understanding of the emotion.

02:28 Are they angry, scared, tired, overwhelmed, hungry? Perhaps it's a combination of things.

02:36 Check your understanding so you can better empathize and understand the situation.

02:45 Another tool for de-escalation is to apologize.

02:50 There is nothing more disarming than a sincere apology. Let's be honest.

02:56 or the fact that they weren't bothered that they mess up your order? or the fact that they weren't bothered that they mess up your order? Imagine how far a sincere apology can go.

03:12 Another tool is to create an action plan for improvement.

03:17 Sometimes this can be as simple as a response stating "Wow, I had no idea that you felt that way. I will keep that into consideration next time and do this and that instead." This reiterates that their frustration has been heard and that you have taken their feedback seriously.

03:41 Sometimes, we can predict when a conversation will become heated.

03:47 Other times, a conversation will become heated without notice.

03:52 In either case, here's what I want you to do. I want you to first take a breath to calm yourself.

04:02 Listen with empathy and then come up with a plan of action for the future.