Identifying and Interpreting Visual Cues

00:01 In this lecture, you'll learn about body language.

00:03 You'll learn how the brain processes, the different visual cues that other people send and that you send.

00:08 You'll learn how to deliberately send the right signals at the right time, and you'll learn how to interpret the body language signals that other people are sending.

00:17 And you learn about what to do next.

00:21 Let's start off by talking about visual communication.

00:25 There is a difference between body language and visual communication.

00:29 Everything communicates something.

00:32 Body language is specifically the way we move our bodies.

00:35 But when we sit and place things around us, that communicates something.

00:40 The objects in our environment that communicates something.

00:43 Everything communicates something.

00:45 And although my specialty is the words and I focus on the words, and that's mostly what we're learning about in these lectures, body language tends to be over half the message that we send when we are communicating face to face.

00:56 And no matter what situation in which we're communicating, the words tend to be the smallest part of the message.

01:03 So let's take a look at the picture that you see in front of you.

01:06 And just quickly ask yourself a few questions while you look at that picture.

01:11 Ask yourself, for example, who appears to be comfortable, who appears to belong there and feel as though they belong there, who appears to be actively listening? Who do you think the guests are? Who do you think invited those guests? Who appears to be enjoying that experience? When you take a look at that picture, most of us don't consciously decide those questions that I just asked you.

01:36 But subconsciously we do.

01:38 They are communicating something and we are interpreting that communication all the time, every day in every situation.

01:45 So let's talk more about that.

01:48 We're going to talk about some specific cues that people send and not only how to interpret them, but how our brain interprets them.

01:58 You'll notice in this picture, for example, there's a man scratching his head and looking up. I don't need to explain to you what he's thinking or what's going through his head right now. You know, he's thinking about something and he's not really clear.

02:10 He doesn't understand.

02:13 How do I know that? And how did you know that the moment you looked at that picture, I didn't need to explain to you what was going on.

02:20 How did you know that? Did you consciously decide it or subconsciously decide it? Let's talk about how the brain interprets body language from the moment we are born. Our brain is hardwired to correctly interpret body language cues.

02:35 For example.

02:37 If from the moment you were born, you never saw a human being, let's say you were raised by wolves. And at 20 years old, you finally reconnected with society and started seeing your very first human beings.

02:49 No one would need to train you or teach you what the body language signals that they send mean. This is probably because human beings evolved, not communicating through language patterns, but communicating visually.

03:02 You know, when one human being saw another human being on a continent that they both happened to be passing by.

03:08 Chances are they did not speak the same language.

03:10 So we learned how to communicate visually.

03:13 And when you're born, the brain is already hardwired to interpret the signals that other people send.

03:19 And you're already hardwired to send certain signals subconsciously and to improve efficiency so that we don't have to stop and think, Is this person safe? Are they assaulting me? Is there danger here? What's going on so that we don't have to stop and think about all of those things, which would take too long? Our brain almost instantly interprets body language signals and does it correctly.

03:43 The challenge that a lot of us face is our subconscious does interpret things almost instantaneously and accurately.

03:51 The problem is that our conscious mind comes along and you know what it's like when you see somebody or you meet somebody and you might not have a good feeling about them, but you think to yourself, Hmm, I'm going to give them a chance.

04:03 So you give them a chance, whether it's in your personal life or your professional life.

04:08 Many times we think to ourselves, No, I don't want to prejudge them.

04:13 I'm going to give them a chance.

04:14 And then at the end you find out you are right on target at the beginning and you think, Why didn't I just listen to my instincts? Our instincts are generally much more accurate when they make judgments as opposed to our conscious mind, because our subconscious mind has been programmed to make correct judgments from the day we were born.

04:34 So let's talk about what we can do.

04:36 When we are interpreting and sending body language signals.

04:41 We tend to correctly send body language signals, but we tend to go through an unlearning process.

04:48 When we talk about communication skills, for example, many of the things that we're talking about are not things that we're trying to learn.

04:56 There are things that we're trying to unlearn. For example, we learn to control ourselves, right? You probably learned to control yourself.

05:01 You have probably learned to stop and give people a chance.

05:04 You probably learned to be more conscious of your body language and the signals that you send. One of the things we have to do is stop controlling that and start letting nature take its course.

05:15 Start trusting your instincts, and start freeing yourself when you're sending body language signals, except for the times when you want to be very deliberate in your communication. If we're deliberate in the body language signals that we send, for example, we're going to be talking about when I want to convince somebody, when I want to punctuate a message visually, how can I send deliberate signals and then how can I make it look natural? Because the subconscious mind, again, when we're watching somebody and interpreting their cues, we know whether they're doing it deliberately or whether it's natural.

05:50 How can I incorporate body language signals into my everyday communication but make it look natural? Practice them.

05:57 Because when you practice communicating deliberately, it becomes natural.

06:02 For example, you've probably seen people use what we're going to talk about now, the steeple, and you've seen people use it in a very unnatural way, and you've seen people use it in a very natural way.

06:12 Let's talk about the steeple, what it is, how it works, and how you can use it.

06:17 The steeple is a body language signal that you can send.

06:21 And by the way, some people call them body language tells.

06:25 But a tell tends to be something that you are interpreting.

06:28 A signal tends to be something that you send.

06:31 The steeple is a signal that you can send, or it's a tell that people tend to send when they're punctuating a message.

06:39 What that means is, let's say that you are going into an interview or you're giving a presentation, and if people forget everything that you say, you have one thing that you want them to remember.

06:51 You want to incorporate the steeple, and people are going to be statistically more likely to remember what it is that you say when you use the steeple and here's how you do it. By the way, this is a great tactic that you can use if you're sitting and you're uncomfortable with your arms.

07:07 You know, many people will tell me, Dan, what do I do with my hands? What do I do with my arms? In an interview or in a meeting, I feel uncomfortable.

07:15 You can always plant your elbows on the arms of a chair.

07:18 If you're sitting in a chair or if you're at a table.

07:21 Don't be afraid to put your elbows on the table, put your elbows on the table and lace your fingers together.

07:28 And that's always going to be a professional, powerful position.

07:32 Again, if you're in a chair, it's going to be the same and it's a position that you can take. Where you have good posture and you're sending the message that you are alert, you are engaged, you're professional, and you're there to do business.

07:45 Then once it comes time to punctuate the message, you know, you've planned in advance. All right.

07:51 If they forget everything else about what I'm going to say, I want them to remember at this point. For example, if you're in a job interview and they ask you, so tell me what's something unique that you think you can bring to this organization that others may not? And you want to say, well, I'll bring my communication skills and I'll teach them to others. If you, as you say that, put your fingers in a steeple position. And then when you're really at the point you want to punctuate you, tilt it forward.

08:20 People are going to be more likely to remember what you say.

08:23 Here's an example. If somebody were to ask me, Dan, what do you bring to this department? I might say, Well.

08:29 I study a lot about communication skills, and it's something that I'm constantly trying to improve. And if I were to be chosen as the manager for this department, it's something that only that I would bring to this position, but it's something that I would share with the entire team.

08:43 And if you do that, as you say something, people are more likely to remember it.

08:47 Now you'll notice that politicians, for example, when they're giving speeches or when they're debating, you'll notice that it's something that many of them have just learned. And so they'll get up on stage and they'll do this the whole time.

08:59 And you don't want to use the steeple more than three times in any interaction, because then it starts to become noticeable.

09:06 But it's not noticeable when you just use it once because it is something that human beings naturally do when they punctuate a message.

09:13 If you deliberately do it more, you'll notice how people will remember the parts that you punctuated by delivering the steeple.

09:20 Now, let's say that you want to convince somebody that the message that you're sending is not based on your feelings.

09:29 It's not something that you just dreamt up, but it's something that is based on facts and figures. For example, let's say that you're giving a presentation to a boardroom and you're trying to convince them to go along with your solution to some challenge that you've been dealing with.

09:44 You believe that, for example, you should color code all of the files in the accounting department. How do you convince somebody that your solution to the problem is the best solution? And it's not something that you just dreamed up, but it's something that's based on facts and figures. And, you know, because of the research you've done that it will work for them. How do you convince somebody of that using a simple body language signal? Pass the books. Put your hands together like this, as if you're holding an invisible stack of books and trying to prevent them from falling to the ground.

10:18 But at chest height where your breastbone is.

10:21 And then pass the books forward as if you're handing them to someone else who's standing in front of you. That gesture of passing the books is going to trigger something in the mind of the person who is listening to you or watching you and will make them believe more likely than not.

10:37 Hmm. What they're saying is based on research and facts and figures, they're not just making this up. Again, this seems like something that might be uncomfortable if it's new for you.

10:48 It might be something that you have to do deliberately, because somehow during our unlearning process, you've stopped passing the books.

10:55 But you'll notice that savvy communicators who are trained, polished communicators when they're sending a message to a group, for example, and they want people to believe this is the solution for you.

11:05 I am the politician for you.

11:07 This is the solution for our country.

11:09 They tend to do that a lot.

11:11 Again, if you monitor your usage of tactics such as the ones we're describing now and keep them to maximum three times per interaction, they tend not to be noticeable.

11:23 And then what will happen is they become natural because there are things that you reincorporate into your communications style.

11:29 I mean, many of us have been taught and trained to kind of depersonalize our communication.

11:36 And so we're so subconscious of our hands and our body language and our posture and our voice and our tone. We have really unlearned how to communicate naturally through body language. If you start incorporating these things back into your style, they will become natural, like catching the baby.

11:51 And I'd like you to think about the body language that you would deliver if someone were to right now say, Do you know anything more about this situation and you wanted to convince them, no, I don't know anything about it.

12:03 I'm telling you everything that I know.

12:04 What would you do with your hands if you were telling the truth and you were saying to somebody, That's everything I know.

12:10 I'm holding nothing back.

12:11 I'm telling you everything.

12:13 That's right. We naturally, when we are revealing everything, reveal the palms of our hands. Hands or palms facing upwards in any situation really are going to convey a message.

12:25 I'm holding nothing back.

12:26 I'm giving it all to you.

12:28 This is the truth, which is why you see in so many pictures or depictions of different religious idols, they will be showing the palms of their hands because they want you in that whoever did the drawing of it wants you to believe this is the truth.

12:42 And so in a situation where someone's asking you, is there anything more that you know? Are you telling me everything and you want them to believe that's it.

12:49 Watch how in police shows where the people are arrested and you know that they're guilty. They'll say things such as, no, I'm telling you everything I know.

12:57 That's it. I'm not holding anything back, really.

12:59 I don't know anything.

13:00 And their hands are clearly saying I am holding on to dear life, to some information that I don't want to reveal to you.

13:07 So if you want people to more quickly realize, because I'm assuming that you're telling the truth when you want people to quickly realize, okay, that's everything you're holding nothing back end of story, naturally, that's what we do when we are revealing everything.

13:22 That's what we do when we're not.

13:24 So if you start to again more deliberately use your hands when you're in different situations, if you're on a date, for example, and you want the person with whom you're on the date to believe that you are an open person and you're revealing things about yourself, you're making a personal, emotional connection.

13:38 Show the palms of your hands as much as you can, and that helps do that.

13:42 And while we're talking about tells cues and signals, let's talk about the difference between the three of those words.

13:48 A tell is a body language signal that somebody's sending, but the reason we call it a tell is because you're interpreting it and you're determining what it means.

13:59 It's telling you something.

14:02 A cue is a body language signal that people send that then tells you to do something. Like in the old movies, people would hold up cue cards because those cue cards tell the people in the movies what they're supposed to say next.

14:16 And so if somebody sends a cue, it's not just a signal for you to interpret and then understand more.

14:23 It means it's a cue that you should now do something differently.

14:27 You should take what you're seeing and do something with it.

14:30 And a signal is something that you will send that other people send that is signaling the way you're feeling on the inside.

14:37 So remember, tells are things that reveal or tell how the person is feeling. A cue is something telling you to do something next and the signal can be a cue.

14:49 It can be a tell. It's something that is revealing what someone's thinking.

14:53 For example, a cue.

14:54 We talked in another lesson about how the eyes reveal what part of the brain we're currently searching or what part of the brain we are in.

15:03 If you are asking somebody a deliberate question, a specific question, such as where were you? Yesterday at seven or what do you know about this situation? And they look up to the left.

15:14 Do you remember what that tends to signal? It tends to signal that they're accessing the left hand side of the brain where things such as information and memory live.

15:25 And what if they look up to the right? What does that tend to signal? It tends to signal that they're accessing the creative side of the brain where they're making up something or where they're inventing something.

15:36 A good story for you.

15:38 So if we know that, what do we do with that information? By the way, remember that if somebody looks up to the left, left side is logic and memory and numbers, but up to the left tends to signal that they are accessing their visual memory.

15:56 They're thinking about what something looked like.

15:58 So if you were to say, for example, what's your phone number at work? And the person that you ask the question to looks up to the left, it tends to signal they are a visual person remembering what their phone number looks like as they write it or dial it. If they look over to the left, they tend to be thinking about what it sounds like five, eight, eight, two, 300.

16:17 Or if they look down to the left, that tends to signal they're remembering what something felt like.

16:23 For example, if you were to ask somebody, how was lunch yesterday? And they were to do that, they're going to remember how they felt during lunch.

16:30 So the eyes really tell you a lot about where somebody is, what they're thinking, how they're feeling.

16:36 And if you can take that message and you interpret it and understand it, that tends to be using it as a tell.

16:43 But many times we want to use that information as a cue.

16:47 Meaning if you ask somebody a question such as, do you know anything about what happened yesterday? And they say.

16:54 I don't even know what you're talking about.

16:56 You know that they are thinking, oh, I don't want to tell them about that.

17:00 So they're creating an answer for you.

17:02 And then if you think, okay, I want more information, I know that they're not telling me the truth. Now what do I do? What you can do is ask deliberate information, gathering questions.

17:13 You can ask questions in a strategic way when you know somebody is trying to avoid telling you the truth. And you know this because of the tells.

17:21 Those should also be for you if you're the information gatherer.

17:24 Cuz if somebody, for example, scratches his or her neck, you know, if you're giving a training session or you're talking to a customer and they start to scratch their neck as you're talking to them.

17:35 Most of us, if I ask you right now, what does that mean? What does it mean? You're talking to me and I do this.

17:42 It means I'm not understanding what you're saying.

17:44 Right. There's something that's not clear.

17:47 That should not be the end of the interpretation.

17:50 For example, the next scratch.

17:52 That's a Q but most people don't know what to do with that.

17:56 Q What you should do is clarify the message, right? If you realize that the person with whom you're communicating is not understanding things. For example, if you're a teacher, you know, as you watch children take exams, the ones who start to scratch their head as they're taking an exam, they're not understanding what the question means or they're not remembering what the answer is. So if you're facilitating communication and someone does that, take action and clarify the message.

18:24 However, remember to always keep your danger phrase and power phrase list out, especially during these lessons. Because what does the average communicator say when they deliver a message and they want to ensure that the person to whom they delivered that message understood the message? What's the phrase that people use a lot? And it's usually in the top ten phrases that people tell me are aggravating, annoying phrases that their bosses use when they are in that situation. And want to clarify something, what phrase is it that tends to aggravate you when people ask you for clarification? Or if what they're saying is clear, what's the phrase? Does that make sense? Remember, when we say to somebody, if we're looking for clarification, if we say to somebody, does that make sense? What that tends to say to the person is, does that make sense to you? Or Are you stupid? And nobody wants to say, No, that doesn't make sense because it makes the average person feel as though they're going to look stupid if they say, I don't get it.

19:28 So that's up to us as savvy communicators to purge that phrase, put it on your danger phrase list, and instead, when you're looking for clarification or when you're looking to clarify and you want to know, are you understanding what I'm saying? Do not make it about the other person or talk about them at all.

19:43 Instead, say something along the lines of I believe there's something I'm leaving out or There's something I'm leaving unclear.

19:49 Can you tell me what it is? And when you say something more along those lines, not do you understand or does that make sense? But instead, what am I leaving out? People tend to tell you.

20:00 Like if you say, I know there's something I'm leaving unclear.

20:03 Can you tell me what it is? Watch how people will stop and think and then they'll tell you what they believe.

20:09 You are leaving unclear or what is unclear to them, because while people don't like to admit what they don't understand, they do like to tell you what you're doing wrong.

20:17 And that tends to be what people are doing when they are saying, yeah, what you left unclear is XYZ, so make it about you.

20:25 And in general, we're always making challenging situations about us.

20:30 So let's talk about one more body language signal what people do with their arms and legs. If you're communicating with me, we're standing up and I start to do that. It's obvious what it signals, right? It signals that I'm starting to close down.

20:45 I'm done talking, not comfortable.

20:47 Want out of this conversation.

20:49 Right. However many of us and especially women.

20:53 So if you are a woman, be specifically aware of crossing your arms because women tend to cross their arms more often when they are simply cold.

21:01 But men tend not to be cold as often as women, so we tend to cross our arms a little bit less, but we tend to cross our arms for many reasons.

21:09 We could do it because it's more comfortable.

21:11 We're in a chair where there's no armrests and it's been it's been a while.

21:14 We could do it because we're cold.

21:16 There are many reasons why people cross their arms.

21:19 But if you are in a more sensitive communication situation where you think, okay, I have to turn it on, so to speak, most people don't really know how to turn it on, even when they recognize a situation as one that really requires us to turn on all of our skills.

21:35 However, now that we have talked about cues, signals tells you will be more likely the next time you find yourself in a situation in which you need to project the image of an active listener, you will find yourself doing things more deliberately to project that image, and we will be talking about active listening in these lectures. However, remember that the basic principle of active listening is that you act like you're listening.

22:01 The word active.

22:03 Active listening has the word act at the beginning of it.

22:06 You want to act like you're listening.

22:07 And when you do that, remember that it is much more effective and it's easier and it's quicker to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting.

22:20 For example, if you simply think to yourself as you're listening to somebody, I'm supposed to listen, got to listen, got to pay attention, got to listen, got to listen.

22:29 A gallon of milk, loaf of bread, stop by the cleaners.

22:31 Gotta listen? Gotta listen because that's difficult to think yourself into acting like a listener. When you know how to act, you'll be more likely to do that.

22:41 You'll be more likely to act like a listener.

22:43 And speaking of signals and tells that show or that you can interpret when you're trying to determine if someone is engaged or when someone's determining if you are engaged. The arms are something that many of us are used to seeing.

22:55 So it's clear if somebody does this, they're clearly not engaged or don't want to be engaged, somebody does this.

23:01 It's clearly signaling that they're open and ready to receive the message.

23:05 But what about the feet? Most of us are not accustomed to looking at people's feet as we're talking to them.

23:12 The next time you're in an environment where you can see people's feet and they're in a social interaction, for example, if you go to some place where couples meet and greet, start looking at people's feet because where our feet point is a tell and you can use that as a cue when somebody's feet are pointed towards you as you're communicating with them, they tend to be telling you, I'm engaged with you and this is where I want to be.

23:38 When someone's feet are pointed towards the door, that tends to tell you that's where I'd like to be going.

23:44 So if you want to know, is this person really engaged and deliberately here because they want to be here with me, or do they want to go look at their feet? That tends to tell you the answer.

23:56 And when you know how to interpret, tells and what to do next, you will be miles ahead of the average communicator who, although they might be able to instinctively interpret body language signals, most people don't know what to do with that information, and most people don't know specifically what the signals are that they can send to punctuate and reinforce their message.

24:19 But remember, we talked about how visual communication is not simply body language.

24:24 It could be what we call haptics.

24:26 Haptics is communication through touch.

24:30 Remember that human beings naturally communicate through touching.

24:33 It's something we all do and then unlearn, right? I mean, we do not have to learn to touch people that we care about.

24:41 We don't have to learn when somebody is emotionally out of control because something tragic happened.

24:47 We don't need to learn to touch them because that comforts them.

24:50 We don't need to learn when a baby cries to touch them, something that's natural.

24:54 But we've all learned don't touch people at work.

24:57 Right. But remember, this is a new age.

25:00 And although for human resources purposes, I'm not telling you to go around touching people at work. However, if you incorporate tactics as part of your communication strategy, you will be able to more effectively and quickly bond with people, form effective teams, and create the personal, emotional connection that so many people are struggling to make.

25:21 There are still three legal areas where you can get away with touching people.

25:25 You can touch people on the shoulder generally.

25:28 You can tap them on the back of the arm or you can touch them on the elbow.

25:32 What I mean when I say those are three safe zones or legal areas is generally speaking, if what you do is simply tap somebody there or there or there, if they decide to cause a problem for you because you were touching them, those three areas tend to be safe zones and you're not going to get in trouble.

25:49 Now, unfortunately, some people worry about that too much, no they worry, Oh, I can't touch people at work.

25:54 Yes, you can. In fact, if you have ever been to a team building seminar or a team building workshop, it tends to be during those workshops.

26:02 They teach people by having them fall into one another.

26:05 They use activities that require people to touch one another.

26:09 Whether you're falling back into your friends and they catch you or you're playing tug of war with the rope, and there's teams that are touching one another as they fall over or struggle to pull the rope.

26:18 Why do team building exercises almost always involve touching your teammates? Because when you touch somebody, you create a bond with them.

26:29 Touching somebody releases things such as endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine in the brain of not just the person that you're touching, but in your brain as well. There is a chemical reaction that occurs when you touch.

26:40 It's something that they use to explain why when a mother, for example, starts to breastfeed her baby for the first time, there's an overwhelming sense of bonding that goes on during that process.

26:51 And people will tell you if they are new, if they are a new mother, they will tell you things such as, I never knew I could feel this way.

26:57 It happened so quickly.

26:58 I was worried about bonding and it happened.

27:01 What happens is during the bonding process, the brain releases a great amount of those chemicals.

27:08 And what's interesting is it doesn't happen anyplace else in nature.

27:12 I mean, we can go around petting cats, we can go around hugging horses, and our brain is not going to release those chemicals.

27:20 Doesn't happen, except it does happen when you pet your dog.

27:24 And it's interesting to me that the chemicals, serotonin and dopamine and all of those get released in your brain in nearly the same amounts as when a mother breastfeeds her child and what's even stranger.

27:36 It gets released in the dog's brain about the same amount as a baby when it's being breastfed. And remember that as we communicate verbally, there's always a chemical reaction that occurs.

27:47 Always. It's interesting to note how the chemical reaction is immediate and notable.

27:53 When you communicate through touch, don't leave that out of your communication strategy. For example, if you notice that somebody needs to calm down, they're emotionally out of control, they're sad.

28:05 And you want to say something, but you don't know what to say.

28:08 But you want to say something that helps them calm down and regain their emotional control. What do you do if you see a child who's lost in a mall, you walk up to the child. What would you be most likely to do as you say to that child? Do you know who your parents are? What would you do? It tends to be that if we were to see a child, I used to teach fourth grade, for example, and if a child falls down and hurts himself or herself, I might lean over to that child and say, Oh, honey, what happened? Or We see a child at the mall and we might lean over and say, Do you know what your parent's names are, what their phone number is? We lean in, tilt to the side and tap them.

28:45 And if you want to calm somebody, for example, let them know I'm with you.

28:49 It's okay. You're safe.

28:51 If you give them the tap and tilt and say it's okay, everything's going to be all right, or you're done with a meeting and you notice that someone is on the verge of tears and you want to let them know it's okay if you, instead of saying something, do something. Use a visual communication tactic like the tap and tilt where you tap them on the shoulder and tilt your head to the side.

29:11 And you were to say, thanks for meeting with me today.

29:13 I appreciate that.

29:14 Those signals trigger not just an emotional reaction where people feel as if, okay, everything's going to be all right or they feel as if you get it.

29:23 And I finally have found somebody that understands my pain.

29:26 They release chemicals in that person's brain much more effectively than any words you could possibly say. So if you're in a situation where you want to let somebody know I'm with you and I'm sharing in your pain so that I can take some of it from you, if you do nothing more than say, I'm with you and you tilt your head to the side and tap them on the shoulder, as you say that that alone will create more of an impact than any words you could possibly say.

29:51 So having said all of that about body language tells signals cues how the brain interprets it, the reaction that's going on, we now know that most body language signals are interpreted on a subconscious level like that. We can be deliberate when we send signals and we should be deliberate because then it will come naturally.

30:12 But how can we start to be more perceptive and take what we've learned, for example, and apply it? You know, let's say that I'm in a meeting and it's a meeting such as the one we looked at at the beginning of this lecture.

30:23 And I need to assess, are these people enjoying themselves? Do they want to leave? How are they receiving the information I'm sending? How do they feel? Remember that we can look really quickly and get a good idea.

30:37 But if you want to delve deeper and really determine by using cues and signals and tells if people are enjoying what you're saying, how they feel about it, where they are in the comprehension process.

30:50 Once you learn, as we did today, some simple cues, you can make more accurate judgments.

30:55 All right. So let's take everything we've talked about so far and look at the picture again that we displayed at the beginning.

31:01 Take a look at those people and ask yourself the same questions.

31:04 Who appears to be comfortable? Who appears as though they feel like they belong? Who are the guests? Who are the invitees? And when you ask yourself those same questions, but this time, as you answer the questions the first time, chances are we quickly did it and you did not rationalize where you got your answers.

31:22 This time, I'd like you to think of the answers you gave and look at the people in the meeting. For example, look at the cues that they're sending, look at the tells, and ask yourself, Was I right when I was thinking the thoughts that I thought before about them? And chances are you're going to be right on with everything that you thought you have correctly determined who's comfortable, who's not, who believes that they belong, who believes that they don't.

31:47 But now you can look through the picture and identify what the cues and the tells and the signals were. And the more consciously you can pick up on those signals and identify them and then incorporate them into your communication style and know what to do when you see them displayed by others, you will be miles ahead of most communicators because you are taking advantage of the information that you're already born with, but you're using it in new, effective ways.

32:15 So in this lecture, we learned how to identify the different cues, tools and signals that people send through body language.

32:22 We also learned how to deliberately send signals and tells that punctuate and emphasize the message that you're trying to send as well as what to do once we have spotted specific tells how to act upon the information that we've learned.