Finding a Good Mediator

00:00 Hi. Welcome to finding a good mediator.

00:03 You woke up this morning and you went to work thinking you were going to have a relaxed, great, productive day.

00:10 And instead you find chaos, conflict, everyone running around asking, What should we do? Crisis mode.

00:18 You think about, Should I bring in some external help or should I find someone in the organization to deal with it? This course is about getting acquainted with the qualities of a good mediator.

00:29 Understanding what kind of role the mediator needs in order to fulfill his or her task. And then also getting some criteria for when you choose a person, what kind of person should you choose? Now, they've done some studies about mediation, and we know already that mediation helps to reduce stress, increase relationships among team members, and it also helps to avoid long costs associated with court processes.

00:57 On the other hand, we know that employees in an organization enjoy the idea that they can work in an environment where they can solve their conflicts, they can raise grievances, and that there's a certain amount of leadership in this conflict resolution processes.

01:15 Now, the question that we have is what are the benefits of having an in-house mediator or an external mediator? Well, if you have somebody in-house, first of all, it strengthens leadership within the team. Second of all, it creates an organizational culture of learning from our own reflective practices.

01:35 And lastly, it's easy, it's preventable, it's there.

01:39 You can always turn to the in-house mediator to give you a little coaching on how better to solve the conflicts.

01:45 On the other hand, if you bring in somebody from outside, you're going to get extra specialized knowledge.

01:51 The mediator may also not be perceived as partial to one side or the other, and also an external mediator will give you an external perspective. Now I'd like to use the famous conflict triangle of the people, the problem and the process to look at what does a mediator actually do? When we're looking at the problem, we can think that the mediator might help the parties to explore the problem, to identify if information is missing, what kind of information needs to be integrated, and also maybe thinking through creatively with the parties on what is a winning formula to reaching agreement.

02:33 On the other hand, if you think about the mediator who is more of a facilitator of the process, you think about the mediator looking at phases and wondering where is it a good time to move from phase one to phase two? How to set an agenda, how to strengthen creativity, and what kind of follow up activity needs to happen once the parties leave the table. The mediator has a third area that he or she has to work in, and that is helping to encourage relationship the people aspect, how to get them to make that difficult choice of moving from non agreement to agreement how to maybe change the communication from a kind of fighting aggressive kind of communication to a friendly, more nurturing kind of communication.

03:22 Lastly, a mediator is going to help the parties identify when to make that necessary breakthrough to reach agreement.

03:32 Now that we know the roles of the mediator, let's think through what are some qualities that a mediator needs to have in order to fulfill all these roles? Well, the first and foremost quality a mediator needs is integrity.

03:46 He or she must be able to ensure that he or she does exactly what he or she says he will do or she will do.

03:54 A mediator also needs to have transparency, make sure that information that is either received or are given to one side is received and given to the other side. And if it's not, it has to be an agreement with all the parties.

04:08 This leads me to a third quality impartiality, and we will discuss that a little more a little later.

04:15 A mediator needs to be empathetic, to be able to understand that there are multiple perspectives at the table.

04:22 Also a mediator should be creative and if not creative, to know how to use techniques to help the parties be creative.

04:31 And lastly and foremost, the mediator needs to be able to promote a feeling and an environment of confidentiality.

04:40 The mediator is kind of holding the space where the people can sit and they have to feel that they can share information or situations or emotions. They would not do so in any other situation.

04:55 A mediator needs to have the skills of observing, listening, questioning and reframing communication.

05:03 At the same time, the mediator has to have exceptional facilitating skills, knowing how to move the people and the process along without feeling that it's mechanical, awkward or unnerving. Most importantly, a mediator needs to have the skill to deal with imbalances of power.

05:25 When somebody comes and feels they can just push their way right in and say, I demand this, how does the mediator take that power and repackage it into a problem solving approach? And that's the last skill a mediator needs to have in order to ensure that you're going to have a win win solution at the end.

05:44 Now, now that you know that the mediator has qualities and skills, you also have to know that different mediators have different styles and they form different approaches.

05:58 We have, depending on the goals in the organization, the nature of the conflict, the quality of the conflict, the people involved, different formats for different types of conflict.

06:09 We have what's called an evaluative mediator, a facilitative mediator and a transformative mediator.

06:18 Now, for the normal person, we might think, Well, we all want to be transformative or No, I want the mediator to just facilitate the process. Or No, I want him to help them evaluate.

06:29 I actually need all three.

06:31 Well, yes, all mediators do all three, but some of them place an emphasis on one more than the other.

06:38 So let's look at this. For example, an evaluative mediator is more of an expert. Counsel has legal expertise who can sit down with the parties and look at the conflict and help them evaluate the cost and the benefits of each of the options.

06:55 The goal in the process is to assist the parties to negotiate a solution. This is mostly associated with court annex mediation. The second style of mediation is more facilitative, where the parties seeks to create a more of a workshop environment where the parties themselves have the full control of what happens and the mediator is only a process manager moving things around, bringing information and making sure the parties feel comfortable, but never making substantive proposals to the parties that remains in the hands of the parties themselves.

07:35 The goal, again here is to find a mutually agreeable solution. Now, the third and last style of mediation a mediator is a transformative mediator.

07:46 This type of mediator seeks to empower parties.

07:50 He or she is there to just reflect and summarize what the parties are doing.

07:56 They seek to get to the root causes of the conflict and help the parties take the conflict into their hands and find their own solutions.

08:06 I know what you're thinking.

08:08 You're thinking even if I would agree to having a mediator, I would not be able to sell this to my boss, to the board of directors, to the insurance company.

08:20 How am I going to actually know that this mediator is professional? Well, there's a movement around the world to ensure that mediators are professional and they are working on having internationally recognized code of conduct. So what exactly is a code of conduct and what is its purpose? The main purpose of a code of conduct is to ensure the mediators independence, and for that, you need six things.

08:46 Number one, competence.

08:47 The mediator should be competent in the conflict.

08:50 Number two, fee agreement.

08:52 The mediator should negotiate in advance how much he or she will earn from this process. Number three, process agreement.

08:59 The mediator should sit down with the parties and explain the process, and they should agree to that process.

09:05 Number four, confidentiality.

09:07 The mediator has to commit not to be called as a witness for either side at in any point of the process.

09:14 Number five, a fair process.

09:17 The mediator has to commit to the principles of fairness.

09:20 And lastly, number six.

09:22 Impartiality. The mediator has to ensure that he or she is not taking sides to any of the parties with these six components.

09:30 The mediator creates a contract with the parties, goes through the entire contract, and the parties must sign and agree to the process in advance before any session of mediation takes place.

09:42 I'd like to go a little deeper into the question of impartiality.

09:46 Some people use the word even neutrality.

09:49 The two are symbiotic and are a balance that form two parts of what the mediator must always ensure.

09:57 Number one, the mediator should never take sides and should never show preference to any side.

10:03 That means, in terms of neutrality, no interest in the outcome of the conflict, no benefits from the conflict, and not having any special social relationships that might be misconstrued by the parties in terms of impartiality. The mediator must ensure a certain amount of professional distance, equal distance to the parties should not be biased and should ensure the principles of fairness at all times. Neutrality is how I treat the entire conflict and impartiality is how I treat the parties.

10:40 So you've reached a moment of truth.

10:42 You're ready to decide.

10:44 Okay, we want a mediator.

10:47 We need some criteria.

10:48 How do we choose a mediator? Well, I have six criteria for you.

10:54 If you want to choose a good mediator, you want to ensure that the mediator has a good reputation within the mediation industry, that they have a background in mediation and in the type of conflict you are working in.

11:08 You also want to consider their styles and see which style fits best for you.

11:12 And most importantly, you want to ask around other people and make sure that you have a referral from someone else who says, Hey, I've used them and they actually are very good. One very important question you want to ask that mediator is are they adaptable? Can they adapt to different situations or do they have only one style and one preferred style that they do not want to change? This will ensure that you know what kind of mediator you are getting in your team. And lastly, it's not always polite to ask, but you need to know the success rate.

11:47 If a mediator has 100 conflicts and 100 were not successful, you might think again about this mediator.

11:54 On the other hand, maybe the mediator has only had ten conflicts and all ten were successful. I would go with the latter.

12:02 I hope that during this video you have learned, A, what are the qualities of a good mediator? B What is the role of a mediator? And see what are the criterias for choosing a good mediator.

12:16 Thank you very much for seeing this video.

12:18 And don't forget, good luck on your next mediation.