Appearing to Always Have Just the Right Words

00:01 In today's lecture, you'll learn speaking in public tactics, specifically a script that you can use when you need to speak impromptu, as well as great opening tactics and closing tactics.

00:13 Let's start out talking about public speaking when you have to do it on the fly or impromptu. I was recently reading an article by Jack Welch, who's one of the most famous CEOs in the world, and he was asked what he looks for when he's hiring a new executive.

00:28 And the thing he said was the number one thing he looks for public speaking skills. So when I saw that, I thought, wow, I didn't expect him to answer with that.

00:39 So I read the article and it was interesting what he was talking about.

00:43 You might relate where he was saying that when you see somebody speak in public, especially when they're asked to speak in public and you know, it's an on the fly situation, we think generally one of two things.

00:55 We'll watch people get up in public.

00:57 And if they look like they're really confident, they look as though they're super polished and prepared.

01:03 They tend to speak with elegance.

01:05 We look at those people and we are in awe sometimes and we'll look at them and think, Wow, at the end we think that was really good.

01:13 And someplace in our minds we think, Hmm, I could trust them to speak in my place if I ever needed that.

01:20 They sound like a savvy, polished professional, and it tends to be that CEOs, powerful leaders of companies, they do speak in public and they know how to do it.

01:29 They all kind of go to the same school.

01:30 You ever notice that. Then we see some people who have to speak in public, and when they get up and are asked to speak with no warning, they're nervous.

01:38 They don't look at the audience, they look uncomfortable.

01:42 And we look at them and we feel uncomfortable watching them.

01:45 But it's like a train wreck that we're watching and it's horrible, but we can't look away. And at the same time we're thinking, It's okay, I forgive you.

01:53 I'm just glad I'm not speaking.

01:55 But we think, Oh, you poor thing.

01:58 And those are the people who we know.

02:00 Hmm. Once I've seen that, I now know that I could not trust you to speak in my place.

02:05 I now know that you do not speak like a savvy, polished executive.

02:10 So how can we learn to be that person? Now that I know, for example, it is one of the top skills that CEOs and business leaders look for. I want to have that skill if I want to be in business.

02:22 Additionally, when you're asked in your personal life, for example, to get up and say a few words to the bride and groom at a wedding, or say a few words for the recently deceased at a funeral.

02:32 However, when you can get up with no notice at a personal event, maybe a wedding or a going away party, and you appear as though you know what you're doing.

02:42 You appear as though you're confident because you have the words.

02:44 People notice that, and then each time you do it, you start to feel a little better and better about it. People ask me all the time what they can do to eliminate their fear of public speaking or their anxiety.

02:57 And I've been speaking for 20 years and all of the speakers that I know, including myself, I've talked to them about this issue, about eliminating anxiety or fear of public speaking. And I have found nothing that eliminates your fear or anxiety. I mean, one simple tactic and I haven't met anybody who has found a magic tactic or pill to eliminate anxiety when it comes to public speaking.

03:19 Because the anxiety that most of us face or the fear that most of us have, we experience that fear before we speak.

03:26 Once you start speaking, almost everyone that I know calms down.

03:30 Once they start getting the words out because they realize, Oh, this isn't the end of the world, it's going to be okay.

03:36 And with a great script, a frame to help you.

03:38 In any event, get the thoughts from your brain out of your mouth and appear as though you're making it easy.

03:44 You will be less nervous when you start speaking and the more often you do it each time it gets a little bit better because you think, All right, although I'm still nervous because that's just something that's in us.

03:56 I know that I can get up and have the words I won't black out that I know this script you can use in a variety of different circumstances, not just on the fly, but also when you forget your words when you're asked to speak and you don't have time to prepare. There are so many situations in which you can use the script and now that you know it, you will see it being used in a variety of different situations.

04:19 This is the good as we all know we've all I've so let's all this is one of those scripts that as I told you I like to practice things by taking flashcards, having this tactic or the script or whatever it is that I'm learning on that card. And then when I have time, I will, for example, be waiting for an elevator, pull the card out and practice.

04:39 Good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all.

04:41 Good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all.

04:44 By the way, there's something about practicing things in the shower that has both been scientifically proven to be more effective.

04:50 But I've noticed it as well.

04:52 When I'm in the shower and I'm listening to something or saying something out loud, such as the good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all.

05:00 If you do that for three days, I will guarantee you it'll soak into your brain.

05:04 And the next time you have to get up and speak in public, you'll remember, just like a soldier who has to practice taking apart and putting back together his or her gun, you will be able to do it on the fly with no notice, and you will sound eloquent delivering the good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all.

05:21 Here's how it goes. Number one, the good if you have to get up and speak in public and you were given no notice or it's even better if somebody asks you to speak in public in 20 minutes or half an hour or tomorrow and just say a few words for some event. If you have notice, you can go through this script and prepare a little bit more. But even if you don't have notice, you will notice that people who speak in public on the fly start off with something such as well.

05:48 Good morning, everybody. Good evening.

05:49 Happy holidays.

05:51 All the good is is a lead in line reminding you here's where you say your greeting. But I do want to give you a caveat.

05:59 You will notice that in other lessons I tell people when you open, never say good morning. And there is a reason why you, generally speaking, want to avoid saying good morning.

06:10 And that reason is because you've probably been to different seminars or lectures, and the speaker will get up and they'll start off by saying, Good morning, everybody. And then you'll hear a couple people in the audience say Good morning. And then the speaker will say, Oh, come on, you can do better than that.

06:28 Good morning, everybody.

06:30 And then people will say good morning.

06:32 And what you're doing if you do that is you're setting up every single person in that room to believe, Oh, okay, this is going to be exactly like every other speech I've ever seen, and you don't want to do that.

06:43 But again, if you're on the fly, you need some words.

06:47 And if you're going to say good morning, happy holidays, good evening, say it with confidence and just say it once.

06:53 Then you move on to step number two and you're going to say, as we all know and the as we all know is very simple.

07:00 All you have to do is state the obvious event.

07:04 So, for example, if you're at a company holiday party and your boss says, could you get up and say a few words for your department, please? And you say, Oh, sure, I can say it confidently because you get up and while you're starting, you can think about what you're going to say.

07:17 Because at the beginning, all you have to do is say something such as, well, happy holidays, everybody.

07:22 As we all know, we're here to celebrate this season together as a team and as a family, you know, what are you there to do if you're saying goodbye to Mark after 25 years with the company? Well, good afternoon, everybody.

07:32 As we all know, we're here to say goodbye to Mark as he goes off to find greener pastures.

07:36 All you have to do is state the event.

07:39 Then you move on to step number three.

07:41 We've all step number three is important because if you read about public speaking and what you're supposed to be doing, theoretically, you're supposed to be including everybody or establishing what we call common ground. Because if you talk and talk and talk and never include your audience, people will start to feel disconnected.

08:00 You can cover the whole common ground principle like that just by saying we've all phrase and lead in lines again to help you get the words out.

08:09 And it also forces you to do what we are supposed to be doing during these types of situations. For example, we've all enjoyed working with Mark these past 25 years and are going to miss him as he moves on.

08:19 Or we've all worked really hard this past year to bring this company to where it is.

08:24 What have you all done that you have in common? We all are going to miss so and so.

08:28 We've all really enjoyed watching the couple's love grow from a puppy love to a more mature love. And here they are, starting a family together.

08:36 What is it that you all share stated? Once you've done that, you can move along to step number four.

08:42 And step number four is you're simply going to say, who are you and why are you speaking? People will be thinking, Who is that person? Why are they saying something? Right? So you want to explain that? Because that will answer people's question, who are you? Why? Why are you speaking? And so you might say something such as? I enjoyed working with Mark these past 25 years, and I'm so grateful for every lesson that he gave me, both professionally and personally.

09:06 By the way, when you're giving a speech professionally, if you're at a company event, if it's a going away party for an employee at some time, you're going to be at a loss for words. Throw in something that has to do with both professionally and personally, and it helps you find a few extra words and make it more personable.

09:25 I really enjoyed working with Mark and I'm grateful for all of the lessons that he taught me, not just professionally but personally as well.

09:30 Things like that. It's a great way for you to get more words out and add some emotional element. Or, for example, I'm really going to miss Joe.

09:39 I'm so grateful that I could watch this love as it grew not from far away, but up close. I'm so grateful for the new sister that's now going to be in my life.

09:48 Whatever is personal to you.

09:50 What brought you to speak? What you have experienced up until this day? Something that connects you to the event or the speech or the person.

09:57 That's all you have to do.

09:59 And then you move along to the end the.

10:01 So that's all.

10:03 Usually by this point, people get to the so let's all because we'll practice this live and it's incredible how easily people can find the words even when asked impromptu in a course. Usually when they get to the end, they're so relieved.

10:15 But if you don't have the right closing line, if you're a speech was good up until this point, not having a closing line prepared can ruin the entire speech that came before it. I met my nephew Aemon's wedding, and someone says, Dan, you're speaker, get up and say a few words and I do it okay until the end.

10:33 And then having a closing line.

10:34 Here's what it might sound like using the good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all. Well, good afternoon, everybody.

10:42 As we all know, we are here to celebrate the marriage of Aemon and Anna.

10:47 We've all enjoyed watching these two as they grew to know one another, experienced puppy love. And here they are, starting a family together.

10:55 I am so proud of Aemon and all of the decisions he's made up until this point, especially this one, to choose this fine young lady to be his bride.

11:02 So let's all wish them well as they go off in the world together and do that starting a family. And it's going to be great.

11:10 So, Aemon, way to go.

11:12 That's it. Ha ha.

11:16 We've seen that, right? You've seen people who do that.

11:18 They get up, they sound okay, they get to the end and then they trail off and then they'll say, Well, that's it.

11:26 And when you watch them, you think, Oh, okay, you didn't have a closing line.

11:30 You might not consciously think that, but there's something in it that leaves us hanging, and we don't like that when you feel good during a speech and then you just don't know where to end.

11:40 Remember, in any situation, if you're at work giving a delivering a little talk to an employee, if you're at home having one of those talks with your spouse at the end of a powerful message, if you ever say that's it, that is one of the top danger phrases for a savvy communicator when you say that's it at the end, well, that's it.

12:03 It takes the message that came before it and takes all of the power out of it.

12:07 You should never have to tell somebody.

12:09 Well, that's that's the end of my message there.

12:12 There won't be any more words coming out of my mouth.

12:13 Now, that's that's it.

12:15 A good closing line does that for you.

12:18 And if you're giving a public speech, the good news is there are only three closing lines that you need to learn that work for 99% of occasions in which you will find yourself speaking in public on the fly.

12:29 Those three closing lines are, let's all raise a glass, let's all give a round of applause or let's all bow our heads.

12:38 Remember that in a public forum when you have a group of people.

12:42 A good closing line should be a call for action, but specifically physical action. Meaning sometimes you will be at an event where somebody will say, okay, let's all say goodbye to John as he goes off into the world and wish him well and keep him in our hearts and prayers.

13:00 And if you listen to that, you're thinking, Oh, that's nice.

13:03 What am I supposed to do now? Are we are we done? Are we done? You know how that feeling of being left hanging is an uncomfortable feeling.

13:10 Don't do that to your audience.

13:12 If you simply say so, let's all raise the glass to the bride and groom.

13:15 That action is going to let everybody know, hooray, this is the end.

13:19 If you, for example, tell everybody, let's all give a round of applause, people will know, okay, I'm comfortable now I know what to do.

13:25 Or Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence.

13:28 People then know what to do and people feel comfortable when they know what to do in a group and speakers feel comfortable when they know what to do in front of the group.

13:37 It's so simple.

13:38 If you practice at home using the good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all. I mean, literally practice using those lead in lines all together.

13:47 What will happen is you will notice as you go through the day, if I were asked to speak here, I could use the good, as we all know, we've all, I've, so let's all that way. Oh, that would sound all right if I was asked to speak there.

13:59 If you're watching television, for example, and something comes on, you could think, if I were to speak there, what would I say? The good as we all know.

14:05 Oh, yeah, that would work.

14:06 And if you practice doing it enough, you will notice there are certain lines I can use in any situation.

14:12 Then will come the moment where someone will ask you to speak in public.

14:16 You know, it could be your boss, it could be a manager, it could be the CEO, could be a friend. But people will see you do that and they will be astonished when you can get up at any event. Like think right now, if I were to ask you to get up at a wedding and say a few words, what could you say? Using the good as we all know, we have our lives.

14:34 So let's all if I were to ask you to get up and speak at the opening of a new branch of your company, and you're about to be named possibly the new manager, but someone asks you to get up and say a few words.

14:46 We're here celebrating the opening of a new wing.

14:48 What would you say? There are so many different ways we can use this one.

14:53 The point is use it because someday when you have the opportunity to speak in public and you do it and you're prepared, people will notice and they will notice you as a savvy, polished communicator.

15:05 But let's talk a little bit about when you can plan a speech.

15:08 You know, you might be giving a presentation to a group of prospects.

15:12 You might be giving a presentation to a group of colleagues.

15:16 But there are times when we have plenty of time to prepare for a presentation and when we do. Many of us have not really focused on the opening.

15:25 Now, I realize a few moments ago I said, Hey, if you have to deliver an impromptu speech, you can use the opener.

15:32 Good morning. Good afternoon.

15:33 Good evening. That's really just reserved for those situations in which you are speaking impromptu on the fly.

15:41 If you have any time to prepare, prepare a different opener and here's how you do it.

15:47 There are three ways that you can stun the audience when you open.

15:52 Number one, use the statistic and don't say good morning, good afternoon or anything like that.

16:00 For example, if someone introduces you, you should always have someone introduce you.

16:04 Don't introduce yourself.

16:06 If you can have somebody, even if it's an administrative assistant, get up and say, All right, everybody, turn off your cell phones.

16:13 Here's the schedule.

16:14 There are the bathrooms.

16:15 Now, I'm introducing Dan O'Connor for this, that or the other.

16:18 Anybody who introduces you, even if they're not skilled to public speaking, that's going to make your opening more effective, easier, and it's going to set you up as the speaker and you won't have to do that.

16:29 Uncomfortable. All right, everybody, we're getting started.

16:32 The speaker shouldn't be doing that.

16:34 So I'm going to assume someone just introduced me.

16:38 I walk up to the podium, plant myself, look out into the audience, and this is how you would start by using a statistic.

16:45 There are no words that come before this.

16:47 At this moment, over 36% of the young people in the United States under the age of 14 have a cell phone in their hand and are looking up a local business.

16:59 That's starting with a statistic.

17:02 You do not say good morning.

17:03 You don't say hello, everybody, and you don't set it up.

17:07 If you start speaking as if you're right in the middle of your speech, you will notice that the audience immediately stops and says, Oh, what's going on here? Hold on. I think we've started.

17:16 Oh, my gosh. And when you do that, you can grab attention immediately because people aren't used to that.

17:23 And it's kind of like when we're talking about dealing with difficult people, when you give something other than the expected pattern of behavior, when you speak the way most people don't speak, people pay attention because they're not used to it.

17:33 But most people who are effective speakers, I mean, who really captivate an audience, that is how they start.

17:40 So watch that, take that from them.

17:41 And the next time you're wondering, how should I open? How should I open? If you start with a statistic, any statistic but start it like that. 55% of marriages in the United States fail. What are you doing to ensure that yours isn't one of them? That's a way to start with a statistic.

18:01 And when you just start in, people will listen.

18:04 The second most effective way that I have found to start speeches is by using the stealth story.

18:10 And the stealth story is you are telling a story right at the beginning, but it doesn't start with once upon a time.

18:18 It doesn't start with good morning.

18:19 It starts with the middle of your story.

18:22 You just start speaking again.

18:24 I'm going to assume that someone has introduced me.

18:27 I'm standing up in front of the room.

18:28 It could be in front of a podium.

18:30 It could be sitting in a chair.

18:31 Whatever it is, I'm going to start as if someone has introduced me.

18:36 Looking out over the forest.

18:39 The sun was shining so brightly that it looked as if each tree was covered with diamonds. And I remember the way.

18:46 Now, if you start out like that, you just start out as if you're right in the middle of a story. Watch how people will stop and do one of these.

18:53 Oh, oh, oh, wow.

18:55 And you will captivate the audience because you're starting in the middle of a captivating story.

19:01 And you may have noticed storytelling is a big business these days.

19:05 And if you can say that you have storytelling skills, it increases your value even at work. The third thing that you can use to open with a bang and captivate your audience's attention is the captivating question.

19:18 And the captivating question sounds something like this.

19:21 You ready? Who are you? If you were to be asked to fill in the blank.

19:28 I am blank.

19:31 What would you say? You are what? Mary.

19:36 Mary? Yes, lady there in the red dress.

19:37 Mary? Who are you? If you start like that.

19:42 I mean, you literally you ask a question to the group.

19:44 Hey, everybody, what's your phone number at work? You lady in the red dress.

19:49 What's your phone number at work? That's the captivating question.

19:52 If you do that, it puts everybody on alert.

19:55 Oh, my goodness. First of all, you start out with a question and everybody hears it and everybody thinks, what are we being asked a question? And then you put everyone on the alert by saying you there.

20:04 If you don't know somebody's name, that's fine.

20:07 Say, man in the yellow sweater.

20:09 Hey, you in the blue suit.

20:11 What that will do is puts the entire group on alert that I could be called on at any moment and watch how they will all focus in on you because they're not sure if they're going to be the one to be called on in a moment.

20:24 If you use one of those three strategies, you can start with a statistic.

20:28 You could start with a story or you could start with a question.

20:32 Those three things are unusual.

20:34 People generally don't do that.

20:35 But you know who does do that? The speakers who are effective and captivate the audience from the beginning.

20:40 And remember that one of the keys is just start in.

20:43 And once you've done that, once you've opened effectively giving your speech, it's time to close. So let's talk about how you can effectively end a speech.

20:52 Again, this is one of those things where if you have a great opener and have a great speech, but don't close it, well, it can really let all of the air out of your balloon. What I'm about to tell you is just one simple strategy for closing that you can use in almost any situation.

21:09 Closing is a little different from ending.

21:12 One of the things you always want to ensure you're covering if you need to, is your call for action. Now I'm going to talk about the call for action before I get into the specifics of how to close without saying that's it.

21:26 It might be that before you say your final words, before you actually close, you might have to encourage the audience to do something.

21:33 For example, if you're at a meeting for your local community watch program and you want to ensure that before your group that you're speaking to leaves, they all sign up on a form to volunteer a couple of hours a week to the community watch program.

21:48 Or you might want the people who you're speaking to to buy your product or service, you might want something.

21:54 And if that's the case, remember to deliver your call for action right before you close.

22:01 There are two specific components in a call for action that's done well.

22:06 Number one, you tell the audience members what the specific time frame is. Number two, you give a specific action meaning instead of saying something such as.

22:17 So, I hope everybody signs up for the neighborhood watch program.

22:21 I'm Dan. Thank you very much.

22:23 If you have a specific call for action, it would be something more along the lines of.

22:28 So before you leave, you will see some blue forms next to the door, fill one of those out and put it in the box next to the door before you walk out.

22:37 Then people have it in their mind, okay, I'm supposed to fill that out and put it in a box before I walk out the door.

22:43 Or it might be.

22:44 So in a couple of minutes, we're going to be taking a break.

22:46 And during that break, you'll notice some resources at the back of the room that have been put there for your benefit.

22:51 So before you go to break and have your coffee, make sure to check those out and grab an order form and start filling that out during break so that when you come back, I can serve you more quickly.

23:01 I'm going to tell people what to do and when.

23:04 Grab a form, fill it out at this time or do this at this time.

23:09 That's a specific call for action.

23:10 So don't simply leave it at.

23:13 So I hope to hear from you all in the future, even if it's something like that.

23:17 So I look forward to receiving your email.

23:19 Remember, that's Dan at PowerDiversity.com In the future, something like that.

23:23 Give people a specific and a specific time frame.

23:26 And once you've done that, all you have to do is close.

23:30 There's one phrase that you can always use to close if you use it correctly, and that phrase is simply, Thank you.

23:38 It sounds easy, but you can use it in a way that makes it so profound and the way that you would use the actual words.

23:45 Thank you to close, because this, by the way, is one of the hottest topics.

23:48 If you look on web boards and watch people as they ask questions about public speaking, the one of the top questions is, how can I close and is it okay to say thank you? And there's a lot of discussion about it.

24:00 You can always say thank you.

24:01 It's a terrific way to close and you don't need to think too much about it.

24:04 But the way you want to do it is you're telling your story.

24:08 You're talking about your product or service.

24:10 You're talking as if you're right in the middle of your speech.

24:15 Then you pause a pregnant pause.

24:17 By the way, remember that a pregnant pause is a pause that's a little bit bigger than a regular pause. So you pause and then say thank you.

24:25 For example, let's say that I am wrapping up a communication seminar and I'm thanking everybody for being there, and I'm going to use the simple pause and thank you to close. It would sound something like this.

24:37 So thank you, everybody, for being here.

24:39 I hope that you got a lot out of this.

24:40 Every time I give one of these, I get a lot out of it as well.

24:44 Thank you. Or you could be saying, for example, more about the story that you started out with, you know.

24:52 And every time I look out that window, I still can't help but think of my grandmother. And all of the time that we spend together.

24:59 Having tea and sharing wisdom.

25:03 Looking out over the forest.

25:06 Thank you. When you pause, you seem as though you're talking right in the middle of of a speech and then say thank you.

25:14 People will be left.

25:16 Almost breathless, waiting for more.

25:18 And they'll think, Oh, that's the end.

25:19 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

25:20 But if you set people up too much, you know, if you say, all right, now that I'm coming to the end, I'd like to thank everybody for being here.

25:27 And you start to set them up.

25:29 You know set the tone as if you're closing.

25:30 Then when you close, people are expecting it and it's kind of everyday protocol.

25:35 But remember, it's true.

25:37 You want to leave people wanting more.

25:39 And if you have the right tactics, the right scripts, you can always leave them wanting more of you.

25:46 Thank you. In this lecture, we learned a simple script to deliver a speech impromptu at any occasion.

25:54 You learned how to open a speech with power and finesse and how to close a speech effectively so that you leave people wanting more.