Building Trust among Parties

00:01 Hi and welcome to building trust among people in conflict. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were in a conflict and you thought you had a win win proposal for everyone at the table and you were very excited.

00:17 You go in, you sit down, you present your proposal, and it just basically falls apart. Actually, this might actually have to do with trust.

00:29 The more you're in the conflict spiral going up, the less people are willing to trust you, even when you have good proposals.

00:39 In this lecture, you will deepen your understanding of trust.

00:43 You will also be exposed to different types of trust and understand how they work together.

00:49 Lastly, you will learn how to build trust.

00:53 The first thing we need to learn is that if we want people to trust us, we also have to be open to being persuaded.

01:03 Persuasion is the way in which people's attitudes, beliefs and behaviors are formed, modified or resist change when other people try to influence them.

01:17 And what do you need for persuasion? Well, first of all, something has to make sense.

01:24 People don't do anything that doesn't make sense to them.

01:29 The second thing you need is some kind of emotional resonance.

01:33 People have to feel it's right.

01:37 But there is the third pillar which is trust, and that is the topic of today. What exactly is trust? Trust can be defined as an individual belief in and willingness to act on the basis of words, actions and decisions by other people.

01:59 So where does trust come from? Well, we know that our initial levels of trust come from our natural disposition. Are we basically trusting people or distrusting people? And that comes from our early formation.

02:14 Also, our levels of trust have to do with the reputation people bring with them.

02:19 If people have broken trust in the past, we might be less willing to trust them. Unfortunately, a third aspect of trust is the stereotypes that we have about other people.

02:31 For example, culture or gender or hierarchy or any kind of experience age group.

02:37 We often build stereotypes which get in the way of whether we trust somebody or not.

02:42 And lastly, our past experience with trusting.

02:46 If we have trusted and that trust was broken, we are going to be less trusting if we have trusted.

02:53 And actually that trust was validated, we're going to be a little more trusting.

02:57 Take the example of a young group of dynamic entrepreneurs who all of a sudden find themselves with an academic in their team.

03:06 People who think academics have a little bit of a feeling of lording over others might be less willing to bring the academic into the group.

03:16 On the other hand, some people who have been to college and worked with academics might find this academic to be a source of creativity and might be willing to trust his or her proposal.

03:27 The word academic in itself is neither positive or negative.

03:31 It is just an example of how a stereotype of a person and a reputation of a person might actually ask other people or invite them to trust or not trust.

03:44 Beyond the initial level of trust.

03:46 There are three types of trust we have, and we can also build on transactional trust, institutional trust and relational trust. Transactional trust is a give and take.

03:59 It is based on a task oriented contract that defines the relationship, and it happens over and over.

04:07 So long as you keep your commitments, people feel there is trust being built and you develop a history of positive experience.

04:15 For example, you have somebody who comes and cleans your house every day.

04:20 They come every day at 9:00, as long as they come every day at 9:00.

04:25 You trust that tomorrow they will be there at 9:00 when that person does not show up tomorrow at 9:00, but at 915, all of a sudden, you might begin to think that you cannot trust that this person will be there tomorrow at 9:00. This is a very basic form of trust.

04:44 If you have a longer working relationship with a person or an institution or an organization, you have what we call institutional trust.

04:53 It is based on predictability, reliability, consistency and meeting deadlines.

05:01 You don't just trust the person.

05:03 You trust the institution behind the person.

05:07 That would ensure if tomorrow at 9:00, the cleaning person cannot be there, the institution will send somebody to be there at 9:00. It is a form of organizational trust, but it is not a form of relational trust, which is our third type of trust.

05:27 In relational trust, you are building a common bond, a common identity.

05:33 We know that people tend to trust initially as well if they feel there's a certain similarity between the parties, if they feel that they share similar values, you may not know somebody and meet them for the first time, but you can feel a certain inclination to say, I trust this person.

05:56 If you want to build relational trust, you will have to engage in a common conversation to define common objectives, common expectations, and to reaffirm the relationship aspect of the trust. So what is trust based on beyond our initial expectation? Well, it is based on a mixture of credibility, reliability, intimacy and self orientation. Do I believe you will do this? Can I depend on you to do this? Can I trust that you will not embarrass me because we have an intimacy? And do you care as much for me as you care for yourself? In addition to these areas of trust, if you work longer together, you'll find that there are other areas where trust can be built but also broken. For example, competence.

07:00 Do I trust that this person is competent to fulfill the task? Integrity.

07:08 Do I trust that this person will do exactly what they said they were going to do? Predictability which we've spoken about earlier. Can I predict the behavior of the other side? It's very funny that people say that thieves trust each other.

07:26 Why? Because they can predict each other.

07:29 When you know how the other person is going to behave, you're able to understand what the consequences might be.

07:38 Reciprocity. Am I treated the same way that you want to be treated? Well being.

07:46 Does the other person have my well-being in mind when they do whatever they do? Accessibility is one of the most important aspects of building trust.

07:57 Can I have access to the person when I need it? For example, in a situation where the boss is never available, when they need to be available, might create some distrust among his or her team. Goodwill.

08:14 Does the person genuinely want me to succeed in life? Inclusion. Am I included at the very critical moments when success is about to happen? Transparency. Am I getting the right information at the right time transparently with everybody else? And lastly.

08:38 And not to be undervalued in any way.

08:41 Honesty. Do I feel that the other person is honest with me? Now I know what you're thinking.

08:51 How can I trust the other side? What if they break trust? I'm going to be hurt.

08:58 I'm going to have consequences.

09:00 I don't want to deal with that.

09:04 Well, there are a couple of things you can do.

09:06 Number one, when you're feeling the level of distrust is increasing, you want to maybe regulate the contact with the other person to be able to predict the person a little better. Setting clear guidelines, establishing transparent procedures, agreeing on consequences are going to help you to increase trust and reduce distrust.

09:34 Very importantly, there are two more things you can do.

09:37 Number one, you can openly talk about distrust and sit down and say, hey, we've had some issues in the past.

09:46 Can we sit down and identify where we can build trust and design some activities to help us increase our trust? And lastly, if you see that things are not going well, please consider involving a third party to help you build that necessary trust.

10:05 The goal of trust building processes should be to change the perception of the distrust, to give the impression to both sides that they will not be harm, to reduce any misunderstanding that comes into the relationship and allow for a new experience in a new working environment that reduces the need for confrontation.

10:29 In the end, what you want is a stable working environment where everybody can produce success.

10:37 In this lecture, I hope you have deepened your understanding of trust that you understand that there are different types of trust that you can build and that you have a few ways on how to build trust.

10:50 Thank you very much.

10:51 And the next time you are feeling a little distrustful, don't forget it's in your hands to build trust.